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Morbidly Obese 27 28-year old. Awesome.

That's me as of today. 330 lbs.

So, it has come to this.

I was cleaning my closet of clothing that I can’t fit into. A lot of these clothes are size 14-18 shirts, and size 18-20 pants. That’s a lot of sexy clothes that I got rid of and have now replaced with whatever is cheap from WalMart.  In the past year, I have ballooned to a size that can only be described “Outch”.  Well, at least I still get hit on by men – mostly those that have a fatty fetish.

Being as fat as I am is not comfortable; have you ever tried to wipe your ass past back fat rolls or sat in a restaurant where your hips dig into chairs? These are the kind of things I’ve taken for granted up until the past year.  Now I have enough stretchmarks, that I have to wonder that if I ever even get skinny, would anyone actually find me attractive naked?  I would hope so. I am six feet tall and 330 lbs.  I am not comfortable in my skin. My BMI is 44.8 as we speak, my knees hurt, I have an arthritic lower back.  I am most definitely categorized as morbidly obese – and I hate the people in my life that try to tell me that I “look good just the way I am.”

So yes, I will be blogging about my life as a fat person. I have never been skinny, although I have been at BMI of 27 when I was younger (while throwing up for a few years). Worse yet, I am a compulsive eater.  I often fail at controlling my eating; if I end up being quiet on this blog, it’s probably because I am embarrassed to admit that I am shoving 2000 kcal in my mouth in one sitting.

For me to just be right under “obese”, I will have to weight less than 220 lbs. That’s 110 lbs.  Let’s not even talk about what it would be like if I was actually normal weight. I want to be healthy first and foremost. I want to find love. I want to be attractive. I want the sparkles inside of me shine out in the real world!

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2 responses

  1. 110 pounds just be be no longer obese is a long journey. Yes, it will not be easy. However you are young and there’s no better time to start this journey than while you’re young before your metabolism begins to significantly slow down due to age. Now is the time and it can be done. About 14 months ago i was looking at having to lose 100 pounds to get to normal weight. I’ve lost 91 pounds so far. It’s doable…meal by meal, day by day, pound by pound.

    August 31, 2010 at 5:18 pm

    • Great job! I am glad to hear about your success! And thank you so much for the words of encouragement. I know it will take time, and I am hoping that keeping a journal about it will help me to stick with it. Besides, people like you give me hope that I can do this, too.

      August 31, 2010 at 7:17 pm

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