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Creating food that looks like Turd… Is this the way to fight cravings?

I am having a terrible time with obsessive cravings, and I simply don’t know why.

Meanwhile, I made a turd. Thankfully the taste is a little better. Sometimes, I just simply love baking and trying to create new recipes. So it happened with my Buckwheat bread. The taste of buckwheat is absolutely delicious. However, it’s baking qualities aren’t exactly the greatest: my first attempt to create the most delicious Buckwheat recipe ever turned out to be rather disappointing in term of looks.  The bread was fluffy, the crust crisp as it should.  Unfortunately, the bread itself baked itself to resemble… well, you can see it for yourself.

I am absolutely fabulous at  forgetting things, too.  Somehow, I’ve felt like my metabolism is a bit sluggish.  It needs a little workout boost! I didn’t exercise the past two days although I wanted to. In fact, I tried to go to the gym on Friday. I had my gym bag already to go. I was mentally geared lifting some weights.  I was ready to stroll in the gym with confidence, pride and gusto, when I realized I didn’t have my lock for the locker room. So, I checked my gym bag for that. Well, appears that not only did I not have the lock… but I had no T-shirt either. So much for the gym! I can’t imagine myself being at the gym, dripping sweat  in a nice, business casual sweater and spandex.

By the time I got home from my adventures, I was reminded that my presence was requested both at a Gaming night and a movie night at another friend’s place. That was a lot of socializing! I got home around 1 am. I decided to forgo on the late night exercise. I must have been quite tired, since I didn’t get out of bed until 12:30 on the afternoon!
And it’s about 2:30 pm right now… and I’m already at 845 calories. Hah! Today, I am absolutely driving to the gym, working my butt off, and perhaps my body will start to feel like it’s actually working off this fat, instead of me feeling just hungry (but bloated) at the same time. Besides,  it will give the house a little bit of time to cool down. I certainly am roasting to death here today! 72 indoors after I had the oven on…. Uuugh.  I want cold, temperate weather!

I just wish I could figure out why I keep getting these horrible cravings for donuts constantly and anything sugary.I’m like a  I was offered gummy worms at my friend’s place last night, and they simply tasted so delicious. In fact, 200 kcal worth delicious. I just haven’t stopped wanting to have some.  Even at work, I kept thinking I could get that one piece of chocolate, that one piece of Zingers from the vending machine (thankfully, I had ran out of change and couldn’t access them).  Then I had two cheeseburgers from McDonald’s. That’s 600 kcal, and mostly fat…  and I had Taco Bell for lunch (340 kcal). I finished the day pretty strong though at 1800 kcal. That’s still 700 kcal less for the day than my approximate maintenance. Om nom nom. I just wanted to eat more and more! I have no idea how I survived yesterday from going over. I am just thankful I did.

I can’t wait for payday. I am going to get a bodybugg subscription (since I have this nifty gadget to count how much calories I burn exactly in a given day); so I can establish my changed  Basal Metabolic  Rate aka BMR and adjust my eating accordingly.  Also, I am going to buy a scale, so I don’t have to rely on the one at the gym. Nothing is as annoying as a locker room fully of skinny girls looking at you when you establish that you’re twice their size.

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