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Running like I had freedom

That horrible sweaty smell at the gym is really just getting to me.  I step on the elliptical and keep on pushing myself, watching every minute that passes by, and hoping it was about to end.  12 more minutes. 10 more minutes. That girl next to me is at 210 calories, and I’m at 260 with 4 minutes less on the clock. Oh god. Do I have to go on. I should just quit now. Oh, don’t do that. Keep on going. C’mon. You can do it. A little more. Only 9 minutes and 14 seconds to go.  Oh god this feels horrible. What? Still 8 minutes and 55 seconds left. At least I’m beating her.

I clearly have a problem.  Today, I went to run outside. I put my iPod on, I was a little cold when I started walking, but running made me feel just the right temperature. I like cold. I don’t like to be too hot at all. My face isn’t screaming red like it is after the gym, but I feel generally good.  Oh, this is kind of slow. Well, I shouldn’t run too fast too quickly. Oh, this feels good. Oh my god? Is this song already over? 8 minutes gone already? I better walk a little bit so I don’t overdo this yet.  Ok, is the song not over yet? I want to run a bit more. Ok, this has a good beat. Wow, I just ran far.

I so love the fresh air in my lungs. It feels fantastic. I was watching the stars the entire time I was jogging outside, and feeling great that I can still do pretty well, despite of not running even weekly for about two months. I haven’t lost all progress. It feels right.

Well, this week has been good.  I haven’t missed a single session of cardio. 🙂 Weight dropped to 109,2 lbs, and still haven’t given up! Haha.

And I did yoga and meditated after it. It was strange. I haven’t been that quiet and still in a long while. It’s almost foreign to me feel that still, since I’m all over the place all the time. I may have to revisit. I experienced odd sense of “How did I just lose 30 minutes like that?” -sensation without falling asleep.


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