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The Day Off… Off day?…

Well, I have to take a day off from my regime. This is where I usually start to panic, hate myself, and feel like I am doing something wrong. This is the moment when I panic, and think the whole battle is lost. I was going to go running today. Instead, I stayed at work until 9:30 PM, and ended up home around 10 PM. That’s slightly unusual, since it made my workday 12, 5 hours. Tomorrow, I am expecting the same.

I just wanted to go out, and feel my legs carry me long enough to feel the fresh air. As it is, I only got one break of walking in, and that means I ate only around 400 kcal less than I burnt today. I feel guilty. Incredibly guilty. Yet, I feel like I am taking care of myself, by recognizing that I am tired, and that I need all the rest I can muster, so I can push through this week with the 12 hours days, all the way until early February. That’s a lot of hours, but that also means I have to be even more regimented as usual. I’ve been sticking to my diet, I have prepared and made sure everything is taken care of well before hand. Now, if only my jeans would last until my mid-february payday, when I can afford to buy a new pair for myself. *fingers crossed*

I want to get to the gym tomorrow, so I am thinking I’ll get my gym clothes ready for tomorrow so I can go there straight from work. If the weather is as bad as today, that’s the only option I have. I am not going to be freezing outside in the cold rain. Eek. No way!!! So, I am doing pretty good! This morning was 308, 4 lbs.  Yay for me!!!

The gnawing feeling that I’m doing something wrong though… not so awesome.

But… the overtime pay will be good for me.


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