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A little pick me up

Thank you “J”… I forgot you had this link, but I am so glad that you do. You just know when to send me the most unexpected love when need it the most 🙂

On other news, my butt is 52.5 inches now. That’s exciting. I’m thoroughly enjoying this “under 300” thing, although I had an oddly obsessive day today of feeling both invincible, and impatient that I’m not already 290 lbs. This translated to obsessive-compulsive micromanaging at work (my poor team), and me actually going to the HR to talk about some benefit suggestions to our part-timers. Which resulted in my manager reminding me there is the “other side of the coin”, although I did hold my ground. Very civilized conversation; however, he did indicate that they are doing what they can to bring me on “permanently”. About time, though. I’ve been there for over a year, and put in on average more than 40 hours/ week.

Full-time would be nice. I am feeling anxious about moving out of the place I am. I not only want to be skinny, I want to be on my own again!

Or have a little bit of money for whatever. I don’t care. As it is, I was dealing with some intermittent jealousy issues today. Although, I am not interested in most people in  any sort of serious way, I am apparently a jealous person. I think they all should like me, instead. Damn these hunting instincts. I’ve repeated over and over in my head: “You can be an adult, and be happy for them. You don’t really have feelings for this poor guy. You’d just toy with him.” Granted. It hasn’t sunk in fully yet. Give a week or two to get adjusted to this.

I was feeling pretty good all day, though. I am really trying to channel this feeling that I deserve my progress. I deserve the positive feedback I am getting from people. I am not only getting it in terms of more flirty attention, but people are responding to me in a more positive manner all around. Maybe it’s some attitude change I haven’t noticed. When people display a general interest in me, it just feels good inside.

I know I’m pretty popular. It’s intimidating to most people. I talk to so many people, and so many people are “delighted” to talk to me at work, when I do pay attention to them. I suppose, if I were them, I would assume that I wouldn’t have time for everyone. The good news is that I do! I’ve been home and not being social since Sunday!!! (Today, I felt human withdrawals when I got home… silly Thursdays).

Bad news… I still didn’t have anybody to hang out with. Bleaurgh.

Well, that’s all in my emotional drama. Tomorrow’s a new day, and I’m gonna skip gaming (counter-intuitive on the social scheme of things), and I am going to go run. Two days of rest, and I am just anxious to take my sneakers out to the pavement again.


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