I feel a little assholish to even think this, but when I walked past the bathroom mirror at work today, I thought to myself “wow, I am starting to look really gorgeous.” I have never thought such things about myself. I thought I’ve been moderately attractive. I’ve thought I’m alright. I’ve never really thought that some of the pictures that I have of me online accurately portrays how I really look like. I usually pick the picture with the best angle, at least. Myspace pictures. Facebook poses. You know the drill. Today, I hadn’t really done anything extra as far as make-up and hair, but I had this moment, when I felt like I am starting to look attractive again.
So, I stood in front of the mirror for a moment, relishing in the feeling that I am looking better, and I can tell that myself. I’m not suffering from a bad hair color, or terrible unfeminine haircut, either. My face is getting thinner and more defined. Granted, no matter what, I won’t look like Angelina Jolie, but I am on the path of looking the best possible me!!! It was really just such an awesome moment to finally notice a real difference in more than just the size of my belly.
But, as mentioned, I am getting more attention from people, too. As that has happened, I am also getting shyer and quieter around people, because I am still a bit unwilling to get into any real relationships — unless something irresistible came along. So, now I really just don’t flirt at all. I’m a little afraid of both rejection at this point, AND that someone would actually like me, and then that would be a mess.
Back to the title of this post: I am happy to report that I was able to run today without any hamstring issues. My hamstrings are still a little stiff, but the extra stretching at the gym Sunday definitely helped to get things back on track. I was running like a fast gazelle for the first mile, graceful and lithe. Then, I think my body-weight caught up with me and the rest of the time I was more like a helpless amoeba stuck in a molasses river. I am glad I ran, though. It just felt good not to have to stop after a block, because my stupid muscles weren’t co-operating (Grrrh at you, last week Tuesday!!!)
I stumbled upon the concept of burpees today, too. I think I will have to try them at the gym, when I’m there late again. At least the 8 count burpees. I just need to make sure that the group exercise room is empty to sneak in there. And if I completely fail on the push-ups (as the case may be), then there’s also tuck jumps.
Thanks to Reddit , I also found a very offensive, but somewhat poignant, website today called You’re fat because you’re stupid. The first page has some truth to the excuses I have made in the past. Thankfully, the second page is far less of the inflammatory garbage, and actually useful information for someone that is struggling.
Although, I did have to laugh out loud about the excuse of having thick skin… I have no heard that one before.