Sesamoid! My new favorite cussword
I have either fractured my sesamoid bone on my left foot, or I’ve just managed to bruise it rather painfully. Either way, I am not capable of of running for the next couple of weeks until that heals up properly. Meanwhile, I have the following options:
- Take my bike to the bike shop and get it fixed (moving is siphoning my bank account)
- Ride my boring spare bike
- Not do anything at all
- Continue walking at breaks at work despite of the scorching weather
- Go to the gym and use the elliptical
- Lift some weights for the upper body
- Show the world my lumps and swim
I’m saying no to #3. That’s right. I am not giving up. Weekend was a bit tough, I drank the entire weekend myself to oblivion (thanks to mom’s cancer news). But, Monday, I started to feel guilty about my selfish feelings and self-punishment, and decided that I deserved to feel good. Mom did say that she still wants to go to Barcelona with me. I need to make it happen. I also need to start saving up to my LA trip, this time seriously. I need my passport, so I can either see mom in Finland or in Spain. I don’t care which. I need to see my family.
And today, I talked with Miss M on the work communicator. She’s skinny as it gets and very active, and she says that I am doing so well with everything. I may not be losing a lot right now, but I am consistently working toward my goals, and it’s showing. She is such a good motivator. Well, the past month is showing. I’m now where I was before I decided on that stupid affair that has been no good for me. Him and I are now just friends, and it’s so much less stressful and distracting this way. I get to flirt a little, but I don’t feel attached at all. Now, he actually comes to talk to me at work and we don’t have to avoid each other in order to cover up for what really is going on.
Some different boy from work asked me out. I feel guilty about even saying yes. Now, I’ve been avoiding him at work like plague. I have never even flirted with him. Oh god… I talked with a married co-worker of mine, and he just said that men just appear to get really attached to me really quickly — far quicker than I make that sort of bonds.
I just have issues. =D
Like loads of them. Like I should have a protein shake and blueberries since I just worked out, and tape up my foot a little better. Oh, and watch Game of Thrones.