I truly admire any working mother with an infant that has any energy to work out after a baby has woken up three times in the middle of the night to feed, and other general shenanigans.
I am so tired and worn out that even coming to work has been challenging. I’m just asking that my sweet little baby would just sleep a few more hours at a time before waking up. Exercise? I can make time for it, but I have no energy at the moment. I’ve gone to bed extra early because I’m just that tired, too.
Well, I’ve been eating okay, so yay for that. 354 lbs. Staying on track! This sleep deprivation will change, too.
It’s been a while. Let’s get the good statistics speak for themselves:
Weight: 282.6 lbs.
Running distance: 3,5 miles (and increasing!)
Fitting into: my size 22 silver jeans beautifully. In fact, just bought myself size 20’s and can’t wait to fit into them!!! (and these are true to their size, dammit!! So go fuck yourself, Old Navy for letting me lie to myself for so long.)
Circumference measurements: the same. I am not seeing much difference in the inches, oddly enough, in the clothing quite dramatically.
I have been pretty quiet. Mostly, I went through a pretty sever bout of depression. I had intense love-like feelings for a person, which soon turned into intense my-heart-is-broken-and-I really-don’t-want-to-talk-with-anyone, my mother fell very ill and I have been worried sick about her, then I felt lonely (so I subscribed to that unhealthy friends-with-benefits) and moving to a new places has been great, but I’ve needed to find my own routines again. I think there were a few weeks of binging there, too. Helloooooo dairy queen! Hello 10 lbs weight gain! In general, I’ve just needed my own time to explore new things, get my mind off of the old, and let go. I’ve needed to gather up some energy to get pumped up about losing weight again!
So, my GF Kelly and I have started up our hiking again, I’ve been running, and going to the gym for the past few weeks pretty intensely. It’s definitely over with my fwb’s, and I haven’t even talked with my ex-boyfriends. There’s just room for new things, and more room for me.
I downloaded this weight-loss simulator, and I have been following my food intake based on what it was suggesting. So far, I’m staying right on track, and it helps me stay motivated to keep going. I want to see how accurately it can predict my weight-loss based on my calorie intake. Although, I made the chart for someone that is sedentary, I’ve had to work-out a lot to get to the numbers!!!
I keep going out on runs. I keep getting lost in the damn suburbs! It’s actually quite fun. I’ve decided that every time I get lost (which, after two months, you’d think I know not to get lost 0.2 miles from home), I just have to run until I get to where I was planning on. That… and I am pretty excited to be on track again. I hope this renewed gusto sticks with me more than a few weeks! 🙂
I finally did it — I ran 3 miles Monday. Mind you, the pavement decided all of a sudden snatch my foot, and then push me on the pavement mid-stride. Grrh. I would have tried to beat it up, but it had already gotten my knee and my palm pretty harshly. Besides, it knocked the wind out of my lungs, and that is never a good feeling. Aren’t these massive chesticles supposed to prevent that sort of a thing? What good are they if not soften the landing…
And today, I ended up running on the treadmill for a few minutes, mostly to warm up for my circuits. Nothing massive. In fact, I feel kind of silly that I am muscle-wise still “out of shape” in my own standards. I’m pretty strong, but not nearly as strong as I used to. I do need to get to the gym more frequently for the weight-lifting. I decided to take advantage for the fact that I slept all afternoon after work, and that there were no women in the women’s workout room at Gold’s. I had aaaaaaall the machine for myself. Usually I work alongside with the men, but doing things that I find a little girlyish, like circuits, I appreciated the solitude.
Circuit (repeat x 3, no rest between exercises):
- 1 min on treadmill for 8 mph
- 15 rows at a machine at 145 lbs
- 15 push-ups, feet on a stability ball
- 15 leg raises off a bench, lifting butt at the top of the movement
- 15 combined dumbell bicep curls and shoulder presses at 20 lbs
- 15 tricep extensions, one arm at a time, 15 lbs (eeeeek, weak…)
That was about 35 minutes
I’d post pictures about my bruise, and my amazing 10 minute turkey burger/sandwich that I came up with, but my camera is apparently out of batteries. Just be aware that I was thinking of you, and I knew you really wanted to see my battle wounds while you drooled.
As far as the title of the post — I feel exactly that. I’m working toward my goals one pound at a time. I feel at ease. I don’t feel pressured to be skinnier, I don’t feel bad about working out. I feel like I am consistently making efforts to a better, healthier me, and I am not frustrated or impatient about this. One pound at a time. I also made a goal that I’d lose 45 lbs by my birthday. That means, next December I ought to be just under 250 lbs. I had better have some killer booty by then, though. that’s 8 months away. With this rate, who knows, I may get there faster. I may not. But oh my god… That would mean I’d be only 70 lbs from my goal weight, instead of this 110 lbs.
Brink of obesity… we are saying bye bye to you sooner or later 🙂
I feel a little assholish to even think this, but when I walked past the bathroom mirror at work today, I thought to myself “wow, I am starting to look really gorgeous.” I have never thought such things about myself. I thought I’ve been moderately attractive. I’ve thought I’m alright. I’ve never really thought that some of the pictures that I have of me online accurately portrays how I really look like. I usually pick the picture with the best angle, at least. Myspace pictures. Facebook poses. You know the drill. Today, I hadn’t really done anything extra as far as make-up and hair, but I had this moment, when I felt like I am starting to look attractive again. (more…)
Oh gosh. What a crowd at the gym at 3 pm. I was not expecting that. It was a little annoying to have to wait for the machine, but I am so glad I went anyway! Soon, I have to be out drinking a beer or two, and if I miss some cardio today, I won’t feel nearly as bad.
But, my barbell squats suck. My back hurts, and I can’t go down enough. I can’t even squat down enough regularly. Maybe I just have to accept my bane of so many years and realize that my lower back is never going to be okay.
But! I did:
- Squats (# sets x weight x reps):
- 1 x 95 x 15
- 1 x 135 x 15
- 2 x 175 x 6
- 2 x 155 x 6
- Chest Presses (# sets x weight x reps):
- 1 x 105 x 15
- 1 x 125 x 12
- 2 x 135 x 5
- Body weight modified pull-up 4 sets x 8 reps
- Free motions rows 4 x 10 x 100
And that’s it. Including the 5 minute warm-up, that took me a good 45 minutes. Nothing too exuberant, but a good, overall body workout. I think I hit all the major muscles! And I’m really stinky. Ewwwwwwww….
Now, I need beer and my friends.
I am trying HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) for a change to try to improve my running speed gradually. Yesterday, I ended up running a mile at a comfortable 4.5 mph pace. That’s not very fast, but it was a good, restorative pace for me. However, I want to make sure that I am getting all the benefits from the little I do spend working out, so today, I went to the gym to work the treadmill (instead of biking in the gorgeous weather). Not only are they good to get your heart rate really going, put it is a good way to push your limits in short intervals.
As lovely as it is to run and bike outside, I am not good at controlling my speed. I may think I am running faster than I was, but apparently, I am not pushing myself enough. So at the gym I did a good 30 minute work-out:
- 5 minute warm-up at 3.8 mph walking speed
- 45 seconds of running at 7 mph
- 2 min and 15 seconds of walking at 3.8 mph
It was much tougher than I expected. I’m not good enough to do 30 second sprint and then only 30 second recovery job. This already was tough enough for me to finish! The last running section I did on 8 mph to really squeeze all the rest of the energy out of me. It pretty much was almost like an out of body experience for me. First of all, I was slightly shocked I was able to do it, but second of all, I didn’t have to time to think about it while I was running, because I had to concentrate on staying on the treadmill!!! I think it’s absolutely crazy that people are actually able to run in these speeds for in any prolonged time. Kudos go to them! Ha ha.
I feel a little less morose than I have all this past week. I do have friends! I do need to keep reminding me of that. 🙂 And now, I think I deserve to have myself one beer… 🙂
So, I got a text message about 4 PM asking me go out to the mall with my friend. I pretty much realized the whole purpose for this mall trip was that I can be that female friend, who gives you an advice what to get for your girlfriend for Valentine’s. I kind of love the fact that I was asked to tag along, but I know that tomorrow I’m getting 0 cards and 0 flowers. Frankly, I am pretty okay about this, except that I’ve been wanting to go to a nice restaurant with great company for weeks now!
I rode my bike yesterday and today. It’s been really nice here, and it seems like spring has come to Boise early. Yesterday wasn’t anything too big, I rode about 10 miles. Today, I kept great pace through the whole time, and ended up biking 18 miles. And despite of the many bicyclist around, I only had one man go past me. I didn’t mind so much; the rear scenery was fabulous! I thought I’d go to the gym to do my biceps and triceps, but I really didn’t have any energy to do that at all now. I am still feeling the burn from the endeavor, though. All I want to do is to eat and to drink loads of water. I feel like I haven’t replenished my energy reservoirs at all.
I’m going to try to work my way up to 30 miles/ day of biking this year. Tomorrow, I’m going to go the gym, and maaaaaybe, just maybe, I’ll end up running. It just depends on how exhausted I still feel. In the meanwhile, I should have a great night’s sleep.