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Posts tagged “Rock bottom

Still Fat!

399.4 lbs. What do you even say to that? This is yet another rock bottom of my life? Another milestone in physical and mental failures manifesting my inability to conquer myself?  I have no words to describe how embarrassing it is to find myself where I am and how desperately I want to rediscover myself.

whales

Can’t possibly be big compared to a humpback whale.

Except, this time it is harder than ever. I am 34, I have a family, and almost a two-year old, with whom I spend less time than I wish I did. My career is more demanding than ever and I less opportunities to move than I ever had due to it.  Sure. These are excuses. I need more discipline.

I established discipline poorly when I was single, younger, freer. When I had all those opportunities to learn that being in shape, being successful, has nothing to do with how motivated I am. How inspired I am. You do what you do because you need to. That’s with raising kids, working, and unfortunately for me, being healthy.

There’s a lot I can’t do right now. More about it below. It means, my first big push starts in the kitchen, and just doing things that I can that I don’t necessarily like, but I have to do because I can’t get to the fund things until I’ve suffered the boring a while.

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