399.4 lbs. What do you even say to that? This is yet another rock bottom of my life? Another milestone in physical and mental failures manifesting my inability to conquer myself? I have no words to describe how embarrassing it is to find myself where I am and how desperately I want to rediscover myself.
Can’t possibly be big compared to a humpback whale.
Except, this time it is harder than ever. I am 34, I have a family, and almost a two-year old, with whom I spend less time than I wish I did. My career is more demanding than ever and I less opportunities to move than I ever had due to it. Sure. These are excuses. I need more discipline.
I established discipline poorly when I was single, younger, freer. When I had all those opportunities to learn that being in shape, being successful, has nothing to do with how motivated I am. How inspired I am. You do what you do because you need to. That’s with raising kids, working, and unfortunately for me, being healthy.
There’s a lot I can’t do right now. More about it below. It means, my first big push starts in the kitchen, and just doing things that I can that I don’t necessarily like, but I have to do because I can’t get to the fund things until I’ve suffered the boring a while.